Growing a Growth Mindset in Our Children: Why It Matters & Here’s How You Do It
The insight into mindset comes from Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck. Her body of research and her work is something that should shift the way we educate and parent our children.
One of the most basic beliefs we carry about ourselves, Dweck found in her research, has to do with how we view and inhabit what we consider to be our personality. A “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are fixed and we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.
A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. Out of these two mindsets, which we manifest from a very early age, springs a great deal of our behaviour, our relationship with success and failure in both professional and personal contexts, and ultimately our capacity for happiness.
Would you prefer your child saying?
“I’m not good at learning languages” or “I’m not good at learning languages yet.”?
“I never do well on tests” or “I did not do well on this test. I need to spend more time practicing.”
“I just can’t cook” or “Cooking has been challenging for me so far”.
“I am so clever I aced this test” or “I did well on this test as I spent time on learning the correct techniques.”
The difference is important because it is an indicator of your mindset and the mindset your child has adopted up to this point. In all examples, the first sentence is indicative of a fixed mindset and the second is indicative of a growth mindset. The good news is that regardless of the mindset adopted we can help our children make their language more conducive to developing a growth mindset. We as parents can help this process.
All failure and success begin in the mind. It is the assumptions in our mind that drive our emotions, decisions, and actions. It is the deciding factor in whether you feel powerful or powerless.
A child in one of the classes I taught was sure that he wasn’t capable of doing maths because people around him insisted that something was wrong with him and reiterated that he could have a learning disability. It turned out that it was simply a case of him having muddled the basics. His understanding of fractions had not reached the level it needed for that topic. A child with a fixed mindset will internalise the belief that he is not good at math and he will never be. He believes that math and other areas of knowledge mastery and skill are based on talent and not effort. He will feel powerless and give up. A child with a growth mindset will acknowledge he is not good at this area of math yet and look for ways to learn and master this. He believes that with enough effort he can learn anything he puts his mind to, or anything he is keen to learn.
The two areas we need address in this situation is that the existing system of education promotes the wrong mindset in our children as of now. The second is that as parents we can help our children overcome this and help them develop a growth mindset.
While school will focus on and celebrate the result, the score, the grade, the achievement, the report card, the awards, the accolades, the final board results, we as parents need to focus on the process, the learning, the effort, the strategy, the areas of improvement, the techniques.
As parents our view and thinking of mindsets and how we engage with our children will expand or limit our child’s potential. If you join the school in celebrating or shaming the outcome you will encourage a fixed mindset. If you celebrate the effort, the techniques, the strategies, and the improvement, you will encourage a growth mindset. If your child comes back with a ‘bad’ result, do not focus on the result, discuss what could be done to improve it next time.
Our thoughts constantly change the structure and function of our brains. This in turn changes our emotions, our beliefs, and our behaviour. The impact during the teenage years, while the brain is going through a process of restructuring, is the most intense. This is also the time of extreme testing and assessment in schools and a time when we will celebrate or shame the learner. When I first came to India, I had 55 students in my class and on the day of the results I had to make a list outside the door of all 55, in order of their standing on the test. I intuitively knew it was not good for any of the students and while we may have taken down this ranking list we still announce and celebrate the ‘toppers’ in our classrooms and in our schools.
We need to introduce the concept of neuroplasticity to our children and let them know that this knowledge tells us that we can continue to acquire new skills, learn new things and embed new habits. If we understand the significance and application of this and teach it to our children, it may impact the outcome of their lives. Teach them that talent and capabilities aren’t fixed; they evolve through experiences. It would be so beneficial for children to understand this as they often take their shortcomings as permanent flaws. Imagine if this is how your children framed their grievances:
“I’m not good at this language, yet.”
“I can’t solve these problems, yet.”
By adding a single word, ‘yet’, a child will have already acknowledged that he or she will be able to resolve the grievance in the future. Sometimes, a child’s disposition in facing challenges is not dependent on being motivated or resilient, but it can be about the mindset. Enabling a growth mindset will help children understand that they can overcome any obstacle with effort and direction. This in itself increases motivation and resilience.
The importance of a growth mindset:
As a growth mindset rests on the basic belief that your abilities are aspects that you can cultivate through your efforts it alters the underlying belief that individuals have about learning and intelligence. This mindset lets children understand that their basic qualities will improve with time, helping them reframe how they approach challenges and recognize the possibility of solving problems that they currently cannot.
However, prevalent factors, which include ineffective forms of assessment, especially grades, and limiting beliefs, enable a non-growth mindset. A fixed mindset, which positions intelligence and talents as fixed attributes, can be debilitating for kids. It creates a glass ego that’s waiting to be shattered. Often, it’s the language that we use while praising kids, among other conditions, that have a profound impact on the development of their mindset and attitude.
How can we help our children develop a growth mindset?
Developing a constructive mindset is an ongoing process, but certain practices can be outlined to promote the development of a growth mindset.
1. Praise mindfully
As parents, we need to remember to praise effort, strategy and action, not just outcomes. Praising a child’s process to overcome challenges helps promote a growth mindset. By focusing on the process, it emphasises the importance of implementing and adapting strategies.
2. Stretch your child’s capabilities
Don’t accept defeat; take every opportunity to stretch your child’s capabilities. When your children recognise that they aren’t capable of solving a problem, use the opportunity to let them explore new methods to resolve the issue and develop fluid intelligence.
3. Give honest feedback
Developing a growth mindset can be aided by honest feedback. Children can learn from feedback given by others and by reflecting on experiences. Failure should not stop children from improving, in fact, setbacks should help them find a way forward. It can help them come up with strategies for implementation. However, remember that when giving feedback, it’s important not to focus too much on negative aspects. After all, the emphasis needs to be on learning from failures, not on the negative consequences of it.
A growth mindset can be a deciding factor that separates those who succeed from those who don’t. At a conceptual level, it lets children overlook the dejection of failure, to visualise future success. The mindset helps children remain confident and encourages self-advocacy, especially in terms of asking for help.
Intelligence is not fixed and children’s abilities do not need to be decided based on early outcomes. Proficiency is something that is developed over time and so is talent. By simply helping your children understand this, you could nurture a greater potential for future success.
If your child has a fixed mindset, he or she will believe that his or her abilities and intelligence are fixed. This will create a need and an urgency in your child to prove himself or herself over and over again. The child with a fixed mindset will be consumed by the need to prove himself or herself in the classroom when young, and in adulthood this need to prove will continue in the workplace and in relationships. They will need to prove themselves in every situation. Their internal dialogue in various forms will centre around: ‘Will I succeed or fail?’ ‘Will I look intelligent or dumb?’ ‘Will I be accepted or rejected?’, ‘Will I be a winner or a loser?’ We all know of the obnoxious adult intent on winning the argument and intent on proving his / her intelligence to everyone in the meeting room. Next time have some compassion, it is a function of his / her schooling.
Our education system has so far had a fixed mindset. Till we stop celebrating schools because of their ranking this will not change. Till it changes it is up to us to make sure our children have a growth mindset if we want our children to be self- motivated, self-driven, productive and successful.
