The qualities of a leader are mirrored in that of a parent

A significant part of being a parent, at least while your child is still young, is learning how to influence him or her to do the things that need to be done, which ultimately is for the benefit of the child. However, the skills and understanding that are often required to pull off such feats are akin to the very essence that makes good leaders.

Parenting, just like any leadership role, is a lesson in learning. Just as you can expect that the operations of a leader will change as he/she gets to know the team, you can expect that any father or mother will adapt their parenting style according to the blueprint of their child.

Reflected in any parent are many traits that exemplify what it takes to be an effective leader. Here are some of the parallels that can be drawn between parenting and leadership:

1. The stark difference between being a boss and a leader
Is a boss the same as a leader? Just like parenting styles, both these roles follow different styles. A boss is an authoritarian figure, while a leader is an authoritative figure, and these distinct management styles can lead to contrasting outcomes. Attempts to get things done by shouting, demanding and threatening can result negatively in a team or a child’s development and growth. However, when a parent or leader comes from a place of empathy, the results are often positive for the individuals in concern as well as for the unit.

Effective parents and leaders continually adopt new strategies to successfully nurture their charges; changing the way they implement approaches to adapt their style to the problem at hand. They avoid ordering their charges around to create meaningful relationships.

2. The impact of positive reinforcement
Parents and leaders both know that the ‘do as I say’ approach does not always guarantee the desired results, especially in matters of insubordination or indiscipline. Whether in parenting or leadership books, both will tell you that praise works better than punishment.

Any sound advice on either parenting or leadership will reiterate the importance of enabling beliefs over limiting them. Do we understand the potential of individuals who are told that they can do anything that they set their mind to?

3. The importance of developing one’s strengths
Unrealistic expectations can cripple the efficacy of leaders and parents. In both areas, it proves to be more effective to nurture the strengths and talents, rather than to demand conformity. It bodes well for both parents/leaders to recognise and utilize the strengths of their children/team.

4. The driving force for motivation
It can be a task for parents to motivate children to do what is necessary for their own well-being, but in the case of a leader, the motivation needs to drive individuals or teams to do what is necessary for the organization. Yet, it works well for both to inspire motivation that comes from within. Various studies have found that emotional reasoning is as important, if not more, as the intelligence quotient in leadership roles. The ability to understand what motivates the team and what they value is an essential element of successful leadership. Brain research conducted on the best strategic planners of various companies showed that the emotional part of their brains worked at higher speeds than the intellectual part of the brain. Similarly, to enable children’s potentials, parents must listen closely and empathise with their child to inspire them to achieve their own goals over imposing ones that they have no interest in.

5. The significance of actions over words
More than follow their parents’ idealistic philosophies, children emulate their actions. Similarly, the actions of leaders have more weight than the flowery words they use to sugar-coat ideals. Both parents and leaders, through their actions, can influence a new perspective on matters. Therefore, it is crucial for them to ensure that their words are consistent with their actions. What lies at stake when this consistency is unmet is the effectiveness of their roles.

In principle, the role of a leader and that of a parent are quite similar; both contribute towards rearing the leaders of the future. They both operate a relatively consistent style of guidance that endeavours to nurture altruistic outcomes. So, do you see the reflection of a leader in your parents?